A Savage Heart

Perhaps you’ve noticed my absence as of late on Instagram—or maybe you hadn’t noticed at all. And therein lies the crux.

I have no idea if anyone truly sees me on that platform. Are the likes and comments I get mostly or all bot activity? Does anyone even value the content that I share? Don’t mistake this for a pity party; I am honestly perplexed and stymied on several fronts.

First, I lack time. Though I work from home, my occupation is nonetheless a full-time, Monday through Friday, 9 to 5 commitment. It takes a lot of time and energy. I wonder whether I have the breathing room to produce the volume of content necessary to get a leg up in Insta Land, let alone find success there.

Second, I feel blocked at every turn. I may not post as often as I’d like to, but I’m sure I post sufficiently. And though I’m no Aimee Song, I’d like to believe I’m posting content worthy of a double-tap and/or comment. So where’s the engagement? Where’s the audience? My follower count is stalled at just a little over a 400 and ticks downward day-by-day.

I don’t understand this flippant, fickle follow-unfollow behavior. If I choose to follow you, I do so because I genuinely enjoy the content you produce; it really takes some doing for me to unfollow someone. I guess I must be a rarity in this case.

As I said before, I’m at a loss. I’m pressed for time, which restricts how much content I can create. And whether for the algorithm or bot activity or whatever else, my follower count stagnates and the level of engagement on my posts is disappointing, to say the least.

I don’t want to nor will I give up just yet. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disheartened.

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